The Perils of War

Multiple wars were fought in the world, starting from ancient history to medieval to even recent days. We have been taught about various wars in school, starting from Alexander the great, to the Battles of Panipat, Battles of Mysore and many more. Though the World wars have not been taught in great detail (or that is how I remember), they are the most recent, and wars which were waged at a scale never seen before.

World War 1. What started as a conflict between Austria-Hungary and Serbia, quickly escalated as a the great war (it was so called before the world war 2), with a dozen countries stepping in to fight on either sides. Close to 20 Million people lost their lives from the war, and around 50 Million died in the following years due to consequences of the war. This was around 4-5% of the total world population during that time.

World War 2. What started as an ambitious, power hungry campaigns, by Hitler in Europe and the Japanese empire in the East, engulfed the world in a war which changed the course of humanity forever. Close to 100 Million lives were lost, and also led to some of the most barbaric incidents that the world has ever seen, like the Holocaust and the use of atom bombs. The Atom bomb dropped on Hiroshima killed close to 100,000 people in minutes, and another 200,000 to 300,000 in the subsequent few days. This inscription in the Hiroshima peace museum tells a thousand words.

After the World War 2, countries around the world pledged against wars. The United Nations was born in the April of 1945, with 50 countries as its members, in a single mission to maintain world peace. After the catastrophic scale of destruction seen in the World War 2, and the ability of countries to launch modern (and shameful) weapons of destruction, it was clear to everyone that the World cannot afford another war. There are also people/countries who say that the World Wars have accelerated their industrial production. But the fact that there are many countries which have not participated in the war, and are now amongst the developed nations, proves that we do not need a war for industrial development.

The British Empire collapsed and so did the European reign in Africa and across the world. Many European countries announced reparations and privileges for their former colonies, to undo some of the losses from their reign. The world learned that no Countries' greed in great enough to rule the world. But what happened after this. Wars continued. The US and Russia were entangled in Wars across the Globe, apart from the cold war for 45 years. There were wars in Iraq, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Syria, Libya, Yemen, India-Pakistan and we can keep going. My interest recently was drawn to the events which led to the Vietnam war, and the war itself. The Vietnam war shows the lengths that countries can go to, with no respect to the cost of the war; and also shows that countries can wage wars with no objective at all.

An American Socialist, Historian quotes "Vietnam war was a like a wound that never heals".  Vietnam was a French colony since the 1880's; and with France surrendering to Hitler during WW2, it gave Japan the way to occupy Vietnam. After Japan retreated at the end of WW2 in August of 1945, French reclaimed its territory and recolonised Vietnam. A North Vietnam uprising supported by Russia, led by Ho Chi Minh (Do read about him, one of the most inspiring personalities across the World), began the revolt against the French. The French, already exhausted from the WW2, quickly started moving out of Vietnam. This was the time the US stepped in, with an objective to save Vietnam from becoming a communist state. After the French moved out, the US supported a weak South Vietnam Government, and waged a 20 year long war from mid 1950's to mid 1970's. President after President, from Eisenhower to JFK to Lyndon Johnson to Richard Nixon, have only stepped up the war, inspite of campaigning for ending the war. US resorted to warfare not seen before. Agent Orange (Napalm) was used to destroy all plant life, in an effort to starve North Vietnamese; Napalm later had many many serious health complications on the people of that region. The only way Americans measured the success, during most times of the war, was the body count and kill ratio.

In the clock wise direction, the first image is that of the US Army, during the battle of Dak To, where they conquered Hill 875; US lost close to 500 men, and killed closed to 5 times more this number. (Do read about this to understand the heights of lack of objective, during the war. 

The second photo is where the chief of police of South Vietnam shoots a suspect, in cold blood, on open street. The photo became viral across the US, and fuelled many anti war protests.

The monk who set himself on fire, as the South Vietnam attacked the religious institutions across the country. This was an extra ordinary act, which turned the people of South Vietnam against their own Government. Though the South Vietnamese Government downplayed this, the US knew that this is the beginning of the end for the South Vietnamese regime. 

The last photo, which haunts even the hard hearted, is famously known as the picture of the Napalm girl. The photo was taken in 1972, immediately after the US dropped Napalm on a village in North Vietnam. Children could be seen running away from the bomb, helplessly. The girl in the photo, miraculously survived, and now lives in Canada. 

After two decades of War, the US negotiated a peace deal between the South Vietnam and North Vietnam Governments, and exited the war. Without US, the South Vietnam Government was overthrown in a few months, and the North Vietnam united the country under a single Government. Thus was born the Socialist Republic of Vietnam. US lost close to 60000 men and scores injured, scarred for life; all of this for nothing. Close to 2 Million Vietnamese were killed during these 20 years; and the country completely destroyed. 

Even today, there are wars being fought in Libya, Yemen, Iraq, Syria and many other places. The wars are being fought or supported by some of the mightiest nations like the US, Russia etc. Haunting images like the above have become more common. Like in any war, it is the people who are the most vulnerable. 

Who are we doing these for? In the 21st century, can wars between nations be ever won? When will this stop? I can only say that we the people can also do our bit to stop these wars. Let us not forget the pressure that Americans put on their Governments during the Vietnam war and the war in Iraq. Let us also not forget that Europe, where most of the wars originated, is no more involved in any wars. Let us start talking against it. Let us all say, No to War. 

Calm - A Super power

I live around an hour's drive away from work, and was driving back after a long day of work. Another driver taking a rash turn, nicked my car, causing a deep scratch on the front bumper.

I was late for work by 15 mins, and was having breakfast hurriedly. Aaron my three year old son, who was playing right beside me at the dining table, spilled his hot milk on my shirt.

I was preparing for a very important meeting with the leadership team at work, and one of my team members who was helping me prepare the content, has failed to share his part on time.

The Ironing guy burnt one of the shirts, the cab guy cancelled, exam results were bad, much prepared interview was postponed, dinner at a restaurant was particularly bad and so on. Im sure we would have faced more than one of the above situations. And most of the above situations have happened for no fault of ours. Yes, this is life.

As they say, life is a roller coaster ride. And sometimes, the crests and troughs of life are as small as the above situations. Life keeps throwing situations like these at us, (and also situations much bigger and much worse than these); and life is what happens when we react to these situations. As the famous saying goes, "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react". 

Let us think about how we react to these situations. We get angry or even furious, we shout on the person at fault, we loose our mind on thinking what is wrong with these people, and finally getting upset over these and losing few hours or few days. A lot of times, this anger or these reactions, have a lot of impact on people around us. Not all people react in this way; we might have seen few people react to most of the above situations in a calm and composed way. For a moment, let us understand that there is no correct reaction to the above situations; people can and do react in their own ways.

However, I always felt that people who react in calm way are the ones that loose very little in any situation. Yes, we loose or win with every reaction; and the cost always may not be monetary. On most occasions, people who react in a calm way, also are the ones who take better and informed decisions. They are also the ones who do not cascade the reaction from one situation to people around them. This post is about how can one practice being calm. How can one develop the superpower to stay calm. I believe that the ability to react in calm way to life, is developed through our own personal experiences. However, I also believe that they can be learned, like any other life skill. These 5 simple points are from my experience only, and has helped me stay calm on numerous occasions. And definitely, one need not be a sage or zen, to have this superpower.

Accept that life is not going to be a smooth ride. Life is not meant to be a smooth ride. Why not? Because our lives are interconnected with so many people, so many things, and any disturbance in any of the variables involved, leads to an impact on our lives. There are always going to be things which are out of control, and they only way we reduce the impact on our lives is identifying them and reducing the impact of them going wrong. For Example: If I have an important meeting at 9:30AM at work, keeping a 15 min buffer time for any unexpected traffic jams (even if google maps doesn't show), always helps. 

It's not always someone's fault. When we are faced with any of the above situations, a lot of times the first reaction is to assume that it is someone's fault. It's not always the case. There are things which happen because of no one's mistake, but because of a combination of factors. For Example: The guy who nicked my car, may not have done it intentionally (yes it's possible). This also helps us in thinking about how could we have done better; which is always the best way of looking at things. 

Listen. A lot of times, we do not listen to understand, but listen to respond. When we are trying to decode a bad situation, let's stay in business, a common mistake is making assumptions about why it happened or whose fault it is. Listening well to understand the actual course of events is very very important. Listening, though highly under-rated, is an important skill, which helps us in numerous ways. 

Share right feedback, in the right way. Always believe that people will improve, if the right feedback is given, in the right way. If we are able to find out that someone has actually screwed up, please communicate specific feedback on areas where they could have done well. If they need help to improve on those areas, offer to support them. I always follow one simple rule while sharing feedback, appreciate in public and reprimand in private. After all, improvement of people around you helps you avoid this situation again, and hence you win from putting all of this effort.

Be solution focussed, always. This is the last rule, but the most important. Being solution focussed in every situation helps us react in the best way possible, and also helps us resolve issues faster. The solution in some cases could be just getting out of the situation, or in some cases could be a financial settlement with another party, or in some cases a negotiated agreement. Always have the solution in mind, the solution which resolves the situation, in a favourable way for all parties, and pursue this at all times. 

(All the scenarios mentioned above are only fictional. Luckily!)

A Leader

I have heard multiple times about the difference between a manager and a leader. I have also seen numerous books on Leadership, Developing leadership abilities. But Who is a leader? How do we become a good leader. There cannot be a single answer or a common formula to answer this question. In this blog, I will try to answer these two questions, from my experience.

My stint as a manager / team leader started in 2012, in Kolkata. I was in Airtel then, and handling a Direct sales agency, selling high speed internet connections. Looking back at the stint now, I think I did terribly, both in sales and also in team management. After an year in Kolkata, I moved to Bhubaneswar where I led Airtel's m commerce platform, for 8 districts of Odisha. This was my first stint where I handled a geographically distributed team. After 15 months of this, I moved to Vijayawada, where I led Airtel's brand retail, for the state of AP. These stints in Bhubaneswar and Vijayawada, where I was part of highly competitive business environment, leading high performing teams, gave me great learnings in team building, management and helped me with my pursuit to become a leader.

Who is a leader. According to me, anyone who is able to lead his team, or a set of people, in one, focussed direction, is a leader. The length of the definition in no way depicts the complexities involved in this. If we take the CEO of a company, for him to be a leader as per the above definition, firstly, he/she has to define what the direction is. Then aligning the entire organisation, mainly, their immediate team, defines whether they make a leader or not. Now, after defining the direction or roadmap, identifying aligning everyones professional and personal goals, to this direction, on a periodic basis, make the leadership abilities of the CEO. Even for this, there are various skills that play a role in determining the success of the above exercises; which is precisely my statement, that the definition of a leader is not as simple as it sounds.

What are some of the major leadership traits? Now this is a difficult question. As the saying goes, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. The leadership traits are majorly defined by the expectations of the team, which are not constant. In spite of this, I have learned that there are few simple traits, if displayed, can take one a long way in their role as a leader. Please find some of them, below.

1. Lead from the front

This one goes without saying, definitely. Be it discipline, sales, customer service, discipline, or even punctuality, if you want to see it in your team, lead as an example. Lead from the front in any unusual crisis or situation, irrespective of it being major or minor.

2. Build Roadmaps, show direction

We all love leaders who show us grand visions. Be it Modi, Trump or Steve Jobs. We all love a great grand future. Building roadmaps for your team, and highlighting what their role is in it, helps them not only understand the roadmap of the company or team, but also helps them plan their work/objectives. This exercise also helps leaders track their own performance and also teams, basis the objectives set as part of the roadmap.

3. Take new initiatives

Teams love leaders who take new initiatives. In business as in life, we expect perpetual improvement in anything we undertake. And this improvement is not going to happen by doing the same tasks again and again. Teams appreciate leaders who solve problems with new initiatives (major/minor). This also gives the team a sense of excitement in undertaking something new, which is out of their daily routine.

These are from my experience of the last 8 years, and have helped me during my various roles, in different companies. Are these enough - Definitely not. Many of the skills that are required to display leadership traits, are also learned through learnings from our experiences. For Ex: I have worked in six different states, and have lived in 8 different states so far. And I strongly believe that this has helped me to understand and appreciate various cultures, helped me to learn to work well with diverse teams. Similarly, there can be many many experiences from life, which help us to build important traits, which eventually help in the pursuit to become a leader.

Inspiration is Everywhere

As they say, Inspiration is everywhere, you just have to look. We have our favourite stars, we have our favourite characters, and we have our favourite movies and shows. Out of these there are always a few, to which we get so connected, we wish they were real. In this post, share a list of characters from my favourite TV shows, who have inspired me in many ways. As all of them showcase both good and also some bad in the shows, I also tried to mention what is it that I admire the most in them.

Dr Gregory House. He is the lead character in the Television series House MD, played by Hugh Laurie. Dr House stands for pragmatism. He is practical and objective in ways which we cannot imagine. He has very few friends, and struggles with people, because of this. But, he also excels at his work, and this pragmatism and objectivity, is one of the definite reasons. I remember this episode from Season 3, where he treats a heart disease in a 6 month old foetus by performing an open heart surgery. While the episode may be fictional, and the course of treatment may be completely different in real life, his approach towards a situation which is very very complex, inspires me. His quotes from time to time, are real words of wisdom. "Time changes everything. Thats what people say, it's not true. Doing things changes things. Not doing things leaves things exactly as they were", Dr House in his own words.

Walter White. This is a character which needs no introduction. Also called as Heisenberg in the show, Walter White is a character of the disputably the best TV show ever, Breaking Bad. Walter White stands for grit. The perseverance shown by the character, in all circumstances, is awe inspiring. Being in the drug business, while surrounded by people who are lost in every way, his discipline, sheer grit, makes him standout. His story also conveys, take the exit when you can. In his own words, "You don't have to wait your whole life to do something unique".

Harvey Specter. He is the lead character in the popular show, Suits, played by Gabriel Macht. Harvey Specter stands for confidence. In the show, he is a very successful Corporate lawyer in New York, and is the youngest Senior Partner in one of the largest Law firms. He is a flamboyant and charming character, who gets his way in any situation. But beneath all this glamour, he subtly shows the reason for his confidence. This is discipline, hard work and preparation. On many occasions in the show, the story reveals that he comes from a normal background, but has built his way up with these qualities. In his own words "Its what you do in the dark that puts you in the light".

Frank Underwood. The name sends shivers down the spine, in the popular series 'House of Cards'. The role is played by Kevin Spacey, and has delivered an unforgettable performance. His character stands for Winning, no matter what. Beg, borrow or steal, but win. Though the character has a negative undertone through out, his hunger to win, ability to create opportunities for himself, is inspirational. Those moments where he looks into the camera and talks directly to the audience, are just priceless. "Shake with your right hand, but hold a rock with your left", in his own words.

Tyrion Lannister. The name needs no introduction. Though not the Hero character of Game of Thrones, he is one of the most powerful (in a way that is not obvious), and one of the most unforgettable characters of Game of Thrones. He stands for Intelligence. His intelligence, added with wit, are the only qualities of him that take him places. His intelligence helps him understand the world better, and also understand people; specially coming from a family where no one understands what people want. He definitely was not born the smartest, but the intelligence was developed with extensive reading, travel, as the show reveals. In Season 2, Tyrion slaps the King of the seven kingdoms, Joffrey, when he tries to humiliate Sansa in the throne room; this incident clearly shows that he understands people, and also stands for them. Some of quotes are worth living by, like the one "A mind needs books, like a sword needs a whetstone".

Learnings from my son

"While trying to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."

I stumbled on this quote 2-3 years ago, when I was trying to find the right quote while sharing a post on Aaron. Every time I read this, I wonder how true it is.

Aaron was born just over three years ago, and every stage of his last three years, was a wonder. We waited for nine months to see him (or her, then), wondering how he would look like, what his voice would sound like, and so on; and here he is. What a joy it was holding him in our hands, a life nurtured and brought into this world by us. Every moment from then, was us reinventing our world, for Aaron. Our work, our home, our travel, our lifestyle, our friends, everything.. had to be reinvented or redesigned.

Aaron was a pure joy since the day he was born. His doctor called him a 'Happy Baby', when he was just 3 months old, and rightly so. Kids are born with an immaculate mind. All their fears, habits, actions, are developed with their interactions with us and the world. Their actions through the first few years, actually show us how a person can actually be. And yes, I had a lot to learn from Aaron. In this post, I try and capture the top 4 things I learned from my son, Aaron.

Infinite Energy. Aaron and most children his age possess infinite energy; their stamina is sometimes unbelievable. Aaron wakes up from his afternoon nap around 5PM, and he sits hardly for one hour, till he sleeps around 10 PM. He plays, cycles, jumps, reads, without ever getting tired.

No hard feelings, always. The phrase stands for itself. Kids have such innocent minds, that gives them the ability to take anything or anyone only in the positive way. Even when we discipline him for any naughty act, it is sometimes so refreshing to see his ability to bounce back to his normal self, within minutes.

Observe and learn. Everything and everyone are role models, really. Aaron learns from TV, parents, uncles, aunts, just everyone. He learns words, acts, habits, songs and what not. Just the ability to observe and learn is admirable.

Determination and Perseverance. I can really move mountains if I have a tenth of the determination that Aaron shows. His determination to do things, if if they are naughty, is just breath taking. I think it is this determination that makes learning so easy for them.

It is indeed sad to see some of these amazing qualities slowly decline through teenage or in the twenties. I believe that these qualities are the primary reason kids are mostly happy. I promise myself to do everything possible, to keep these qualities alive in Aaron.

My Attempt to Rebound

I still remember the time I started this blog. It was almost ten years ago, June of 2010, in my hostel room in Lucknow. I remember the pride when I wrote my 5th blog, 'When nights started turning into day'. The joy when people read and actually appreciated my writing; and yes I was told a few times that they in fact looked forward to my next one.

Ten years on, the world is not the same, and definitely not the same for me. Im living in my fourth city after Lucknow, and working in fourth company after campus. I also now have a beautiful wife and an amazing son, who have become my world. Though I felt the itching to write a few times, I could not gather the courage nor time to do so. And so when I opened the blog editor today, I actually realised that my last post was more than 4 years ago.

This is my attempt to rebound. And this is also when Im changing my blog url to scribblesofsol.blogspot.com from ethereal-joy.blogspot.com.

Rules..!!

Break the rules!!
OMG! So many rules!!
Make your own rules!!
Life is no fun without breaking rules!!

There are rules. Everywhere. There are rules to trade on the Newyork stock exchange. There are traffic rules. There are rules for a school kid, to polish his shoes. Again, there are rules, everywhere. We are now in a world where there is rule book for a school kid going to Kindergarten to a young adult buying his new vehicle, rules for walking, driving, flying and sometimes even standing. We are so used to rules that we make our own set of rules to our children - no TV after 9PM or no writing on the walls.

The four lines at the starting of the post are how most people react when they hear the word rules. One can understand that with so many rules, one is fed up to follow any more of them. So we have people riding bikes without helmets, people jumping the signals to get back home quickly, whining about the security checks at the mall, whining about the rules at work etc. Then there are also people who look for a way past rules, looking for a loop hole or twist the rules in our favor. When everyone is so upset with rules, there are new and new rules being added in the rule books everyday - starting from the constitutions of the nations to the set of rules at home. Why is this happening?

I was shocked to read that before 1990s, the pilots left the cockpit doors open during the flight. Till as recent as 2003-04, there were no metal detectors in the malls. There were fewer road rules till a few years back. The first anti-terrorist unit was started after the Munich Olympics disaster. There were no clear rules to investigate money laundering and financial fraud till the Satyam's fiasco. Its clear by the trend that we are bringing this on ourselves.The making of a rule is always  because of a person who has caused his fellow beings some pain. Hence the concerned governing bodies make rules to prevent the repetition of the event.

The financial melt down of the US economy, allegedly caused by the greed of the financial services industry of US, drove millions of people jobless around the world. The largest consumers of dirty fuel - the Telco's and the IT giants of the world, are causing irreparable damage to the environment. These instances show that sometimes, when we tweak the rules, we may not foresee the damage or the extent of the damage. A simple example could be a drunk person, driving a car. The car, which has now become a weapon in his hands, has the potential to cause immense pain not only to that person but also to innocent people on the road. A housewife demanding plastic carry bags from the shopkeeper would not understand that her small act may lead to so many environmental problems, which are fatal for her children's generation. Hence, we should understand that sometimes, the rules are made for greater good, which we may not understand at that point.

"You are remembered for the rules you break", as said by Douglas Mc Arthur, the chief of US Army during world war 2. The story of Rajat Gupta, who was indicted for insider trading, makes a perfect example for the quote. His life story has been a perfect fairy tale of fulfillment of an American dream: orphaned at 18, graduation from IIT Delhi, MBA from Harvard, first non-American managing director (worldwide) of McKinsey and Co, director of Goldman Sach's board, director of Procter & Gamble's board, adviser to the UN Secretary General, trustee of Rockefeller Foundation, adviser of several prestigious companies and NGOs, personally worth $84 million. He was the brain behind, and one of the founding fathers of, ISB Hyderabad; he contributed significantly to make it a world-class institution. When the government instituted the Pravasi Bharatiya Samman Award, he was the first Indian-American to be honored. Gupta, at the peak of his career, could do no wrong; he was wining and dining with the likes of Bill Clinton, Bill Gates and Kofi Annan. All it took was the greed to make $50-100 million of easy money. (Courtesy: The Economic Times, June 23rd 2012)

Albert Einstein said "You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else". The fact that the existence of rules are only for the betterment of us and also the people around us is somehow missing. Let us understand that a game is said to be played well, only when it is played within the rules.



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Conscience... My dear friend...

Rome, 27th Nov 2011. I'm standing in one of the greatest cathedrals of the world, St Peters. The holy place for over 30% of worlds population. I'm standing in the midst of some of most spectacular pieces of art by masters like Michelangelo, Bernini etc. Hundreds of statues of saints and holy men, all around me, glaring down at me. I should have been absorbed by the sanctity of the place. I should have been amazed at the masterpieces of art and architecture. I should have been carried away into a peaceful trance by the melodious music of the organ. Why am I not feeling anything of these.

I had been to few of the holiest places, most scenic places, darkest places of Europe, in the last 2-3 months of my exchange program. Darkest places like Sachsenhausen where the Nazis and Communists slaughtered hundreds of thousands of innocents. The indifference to pain, pleasure or joy of the place has been puzzling me over the past few weeks. It is more of the scruples from the inside that is taking over the emotions of the exterior senses.

In the recent few years of my life, after I started differentiating between the good and the bad of the world, I came across many people/institutions which are on both sides of the wall. Through movies, books and travel, I came to know about many Mahatmas of the world, who with their uncompromising determination have changes the world in a way or the other. On the other end of the spectrum are cruel and brutal crimes committed by people, corruption, scandals, riots etc etc. Amazingly, only few of those poor souls have ever confessed or repented. Why.

As said by Mahatma Gandhi, "In matters of conscience, the law of the majority has no place." Beginning from the Magna-carta, the first ever document of modern law, to the most recent laws, conscience is one thing, which every human has to face one day or the other. "There is a higher court than courts of justice and that is the court of conscience. It supersedes all other court"; an other master quote by the Mahatma. Our conscience could be the supreme power inside us which could work wonders by taking us to greater heights, and it can also lead us into lonely and depressed phases of our lives.

How wonderful it is to have a clean conscience through out our lives; the wonders it can make with our lives, the peace it can bring into our lives, the beauty it can add to our lives...

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Can we measure life?

Can we measure life? What is a good life or what is bad? Can we rate life by the number of years a person lived? Or by the money he/she made? Or the number of educational degrees? Or the number of companies he started or the job he was in? Or the number of people he helped and the donations made? Or by the faith he had? Or is life completely meaningless? (Except when you are a Hitler or a Gandhi). I liked the way Morgan Freeman said in some movie, "You measure your life by the people measure their lives by you".

This weird question has been lingering in my mind for the past few days. One of the reasons I can think of is the kind of movies I have been watching lately, like 'The bucket list'. The second reason was my visit to the Chateau of Versailles where the Kings of France lived until the French revolution in 1789. And also, I believe any post of mine reflects my current mood (however hard I try to hide!). I am still not sure of the things I want to convey with this blog, so kindly bear with me.

Coming back to the topic, any type of search with strings like 'good life' or 'measuring life' or 'life' always yield at least a few results on 'how to make life successful'. One of these searches popped out the following interpretation of success, which I think is never taught anymore. Ralph Waldo Emerson defined success with these words: "To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded."

So what is a good life. One of the most common philosophies of life we observe these days is the 'life is a celebration' or 'the only chance to enjoy' philosophy. Work hard, party harder is the new mantra. A close friend of mine, who is absolutely happy with this philosophy, said that he is not going to change his lifestyle unless he is forced to. Yeah its true too. Why change if we are happy. I am not complaining but it still does not answer my question. Though these things are commonly seen these days, unfortunately, things like these are not taught in any schools. Few weeks back, a professor of ours had narrated a small story while ending his course. Though the story does not answer the question, it beautifully summarizes many issues in life.

"One day, an old professor of the School of Public Management in France, was invited to lecture on the topic of “Efficient Time Management” in front of a group of 15 executive managers representing the largest, most successful companies in America. The lecture was one in a series of 5 lectures conducted in one day, and the old professor was given 1 hour to lecture. Standing in front of this group of elite managers, who were willing to write down every word that would come out of the famous professor’s mouth, the professor slowly met eyes with each manager, one by one, and finally said, “we are going to conduct an experiment”.

From under the table that stood between the professor and the listeners, the professor pulled out a big glass jar and gently placed it in front of him. Next, he pulled out from under the table a bag of stones, each the size of a tennis ball, and placed the stones one by one in the jar. He did so until there was no room to add another stone in the jar. Lifting his gaze to the managers, the professor asked, “Is the jar full?” The managers replied, “Yes”. The professor paused for a moment, and replied, “Really?”

Once again, he reached under the table and pulled out a bag full of pebbles. Carefully, the professor poured the pebbles in and slightly rattled the jar, allowing the pebbles to slip through the larger stones, until they settled at the bottom. Again, the professor lifted his gaze to his audience and asked, “Is the jar full?” At this point, the managers began to understand his intentions. One replied, “Apparently not!”

“Correct”, replied the old professor, now pulling out a bag of sand from under the table. Cautiously, the professor poured the sand into the jar. The sand filled up the spaces between the stones and the pebbles. Yet again, the professor asked, “Is the jar full?” Without hesitation, the entire group of students replied in unison, “NO!”

“Correct”, replied the professor. And as was expected by the students, the professor reached for the pitcher of water that was on the table, and poured water in the jar until it was absolutely full. The professor now lifted his gaze once again and asked, “What great truth can we surmise from this experiment?”

With his thoughts on the lecture topic, one manager quickly replied, “We learn that as full as our schedules may appear, if we only increase our effort, it is always possible to add more meetings and tasks”. “No”, replied the professor. The great truth that we can conclude from this experiment is: If we don’t put all the larger stones in the jar first, we will never be able to fit all of them later.

The auditorium fell silent, as every manager processed the significance of the professor’s words in their entirety. The old professor continued, “What are the large stones in your life? Health? Family? Friends? Your goals? Doing what you love? Fighting for a Cause? Taking time for yourself?” What we must remember is that it is most important to include the lager stones in our lives, because if we don’t do so, we are likely to miss out on life altogether. If we give priority to the smaller things in life (pebbles & sand), our lives will be filled up with less important things, leaving little or no time for the things in our lives that are most important to us. Because of this, never forget to ask yourself, What are the Large Stones in your Life? And once you identify them, be sure to put them first in your “Jar of Life”. With a warm wave of his hand, the professor bid farewell to the managers, and slowly walked out of the room. Take care of the large stones first – the things that REALLY matter. Set your priorities. The rest are just pebbles and sand. If you put the sand or the pebbles into the jar first, there will be no room left for the stones. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, you will never have room for things that are truly most important."

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The Quarter Life Crisis

Here you are, in your mid-20s - the best time of your life, at least that's what everyone says. Your 'I am independent' claim now has the legal stamp of economics; the college campus lingers in nostalgia; 'work hard, party harder' is the new mantra. But the euphoria is evaporating. The adrenaline rush leaves a hangover that seems impossible to shake off. Disillusionment looms large with a million-dollar question: What next? Welcome. You have just been hit by the quarter-life crisis. The transition from college to the real world sets the stage for the quarter-life crisis, hitting those in their early and mid-20s. Work, independence, new responsibilities, relationships hankering for "long-term commitment" and "meaningful" layers, all add to an anxiety not known until now. The phrase ‘quarter-life crisis’ gained currency in the West in 2001, when two twenty-somethings made a fortune writing on their peer’s crises in "Quarter life Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in your Twenties". This has become an unrecognized epidemic, sweeping an entire generation reared on an array of choices and rising expectations.

Oh yea! Everybody goes through this phase; some face this crisis for long and some for short phases. I recently read a post which goes like this, "At 27, Atul has the life dreams are made of: an MBA from a top management institute, out-of-turn raises every few months, whirlwind world tours on work and a stunner for his arm candy at corporate dos. Three job switches in the last nine months have landed this finance whiz in a top managerial position. But lately, he has been fighting gnawing self-doubts. “I make big bucks, but have no time to spend them. I don’t feel driven to achieve anything anymore… Should I have chosen another profession?” says the alpha achiever, who is also beginning to question his four-year-old relationship." Unfortunately the messages like these are increasing, its just that we don't always observe these in the bracket of quarter life crisis.

The statistics are startling. At any point of time, around one third of the population in the age group 18 - 28 suffer from this crisis. And though I could not get any statistics relevant to India, I definitely think that this number is much large, at least close to 60%. As part of international student exchange program, I am currently studying at a B School in France. When I talk to students here who are studying economics and come to B school, who leave engineering and come to B school; I could not stop myself from asking "whats the plan?", "what next?", may be owing to our system which mostly works on plans. I am amazed to find that no body here has a plan as such. They are studying here because they feel its good. The people here are not looking for easy money or good jobs and they are not afraid to live on little money and temporary jobs. People here are not scared of the future which sometimes pity the systems back home. Of course people here enjoy many privileges like small population, no or very less competition etc.; and in contrast the huge and ever increasing population in India, meagerly growing industrial opportunities, demanding education sector etc. might all become the reasons.

You are a software engineer, just out of college, living in a nice cool apartment with a peaceful white collar job. There is QLC here too, to switch jobs, not getting the deserved credit, give CAT or GMAT etc. In students, QLC is common in students of the best of B schools to students of a normal engineering college in a remote place. It is unfortunate that there is QLC in students as young as 7 - 8th standard which is being exploited by IIT coaching centres and intermediate colleges. QLC about relationships is more common too; some express it, some dont, but it is there.

“This crisis is a product of our times. Young people want to jump from one ladder to another, exhausting their goals very early on. They then begin to question everything about their lives.”, says Dr Amit Sen, a psychiatrist who sees children and young adults. The 20s are bringing with them a “nervous self-awareness,” says a 30-year-old lecturer at a leading DU college. “Students now indulge in a lot of self-questioning, which isn’t philosophical like -- ‘What’s my purpose in life’ — but, ‘Oh god, are my friends going to do better in life than me?’” Psychologist NK Chadha, head of DU’s department of adult, continuing education and extension, says, “Students choose careers depending on what pays more, and end up paying with their peace of mind.”

So my dear friends, you are not alone. Everyone around you is also going through the same confusion, anxiety and internal suffering. After all, there is no rule that there should be an answer to every "why"...

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Far from the madding crowd..

I remember studying in my primary school that over 70% of Indians live in villages. I had an opportunity to live in one of the typical villages, on the west coast of India, for around two months in this summer. It was Kharoi village in the Kutch district of Gujarat. Though I did live in a village, I had the privilege to live in a wonderful campus with lush green lawns, a lake and beautiful food and housing etc, the accommodation provided by the organisation where I was doing my summer internship.

My first realization was that villages are no more as shown in movies. Everything is available in a village starting from mobile connections to internet data cards. People own computers, digital TVs etc. etc. I understood why companies are gunning each other for the rural market share. The only difference is that people spend there for necessity than luxury. So if you want a tooth brush or a soap, be ready to get 2-3 types of tooth brushes, all costing less than 10 and for soaps you would get dettol or hammam or godrej No.1.

The most beautiful experience was the purity of the villages. The night sky is very clear and we can see the whole blanket of stars. I did not even realize that it has been years that stars in the night sky are no longer visible, thanks to the various types of pollution. The water in the lakes is pure. Its a beautiful sight, as depicted in many paintings and poems, to see many people walking to the lake early in the morning. Its even more beautiful when the lake is full of ducks and many other birds. The climate is remarkable. Even in Kutch, one of the most dry places in the country, and even in the peak of summer, there is a cool breeze by evening. Its a pity that these people and these places are made to suffer because of climate change caused by the luxuries of the urban world.

Some startling differences are people in villages have lot of time. They don't have 9 to 9 jobs or late night meetings or weekend works. They have all the time in the world and sights of 2-3 people sitting on the verandahs of their houses chit chatting the whole day is very common. Also, there are a few people who worked in the nearest towns or nearby villages, who leave early and come late.

People there are healthy. These are the people who are still obeying the laws of the nature w.r.t. to our bodies. They don't hit the gym or follow a diet. Their lifestyle by nature is free of all the junk food. Their day to day physical work gives them the much needed exercise.

People are caring and friendly. This is shown in many movies and it was so good to experience it. People show lot of concern and offer a lot of help if you tell them that you are not from the village. And it doubles if you say that you are not from Gujarat.

Last and the most important, people are happy. With the least of the resources, very little options, people are content and happy. Of course there are a few people who aspire to go to the city, who want to become rich; majority of them cherish their current lifestyle and are absolutely satisfied.

So to all those people who are scared of a rural stint, there is no reason to be apprehensive. All you need is some good food and some good transport to reach the nearest city or town, and you can be sure of an experience of a life time.

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An Entrepreneur..

"Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won't, so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people can't" - An entrepreneur

An entrepreneur is a person who has possession of a new enterprise, venture or idea and is accountable for the inherent risks and outcomes. This is the wikipedia definition of entrepreneur. Though the word 'Entrepreneur' seems a little heavy in itself, most of us dream of starting something of our own at some point in our lives. But in a society like ours, there is very little chance that this wild dream of ours ever comes true. But yes, there are people who go ahead and realize their dreams. I had a wonderful opportunity of working with one of them, Mr Sanjay Singh, an IIM Ahmedabad alumnus, founder and Director of Swas healthcare. This post summarizes the things I learned working with him and also from his interviews with the media. I have found them very interesting and also very essential for any budding entrepreneur.

For an entrepreneur, it is always necessary to have a reason other money to get him going. There might be times when the cash flow turns dry and the future seems dim. But as long as we stand on our cause and motivation, it is the only thing which gets us going. Mr. Sanjay also says that keeping an eye on cash flows is always important. Saving a few bucks whenever possible comes handy in rough times.

My second learning is start quick and dirty, don't wait for a perfect business model. This is very important as we learn more working than contemplating an ideal solution. Also it has the capacity to give us an early mover advantage in this competitive world.

"Watch, listen and learn. You can't do everything yourself. Anyone who thinks they do is destined for mediocrity" - Donald Trump. This quote says it all. My biggest learning is to keep our eyes open. Sometimes people on the ground knows what works the best and what not. Hence to be receptive to ideas and also change is an absolute necessity for success.

"Choose a job you like and you never have to work a day in your life". This is the biggest motivation of all. In an interview with the media, Mr. Sanjay said "When I see our patients making the journey from “hope in eyes” to “smiling faces” it gives us immense strength to continue our efforts in spite of all hurdles". So it all boils down to our own happiness and satisfaction in starting our own venture.

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Capitalism vs. Socialism

One of our many trips around Kutch, during my summer internship, was to Dholavira. It is a site excavated by the Archeological department. Dholavira was once a prominent city. It belonged to the Indus valley civilization, i.e around 2600-3000 BC. The site was occupied from 2650 BCE, declining slowly after about 2100 BC. It was briefly abandoned and reoccupied until 1450 BC. The site was discovered in 1967-8 and is one of the largest Harappan sites in the Indian subcontinent. The excavation brought to light the sophisticated urban planning and architecture, and unearthed large numbers of antiquities such as seals, beads, animal bones, gold, silver, terracotta ornaments and vessels linked to Mesopotamia.

The city, which existed then, consisted on three marked areas. Citadel - probably occupied by the royal family, the middle town and the lower town. It covered an area of about 100 Hectares. The citadel stands majestically in the centre, clearly insulation and defended by impressive guarding systems. Next to this stands a place called 'bailey' where important officials lived, so as we were told by our guide. One of the unique features of Dholavira is the sophisticated water conservation system of channels and reservoirs, the earliest found anywhere in the world and completely built out of stone. They were used for storing the fresh water brought by rains or to store the water diverted from a nearby rivulet. This probably came in wake of the desert climate and conditions of Kutch, where several years may pass without rainfall. The inhabitants of Dholavira created sixteen or more reservoirs of varying size. Some of these took advantage of the slope of the ground within the large settlement. Reservoirs are cut through stones vertically. Reservoirs skirted the city while citadel is centrally located on raised ground. Bathing tanks were found, which had steps descending inwards. Even the ground, as we were told was used for recreation purposes, had a drain on its side to allow the water collected to flow into the reservoirs.

Most of the royal families which existed in the past owned the natural resources and all other resources in their empires. They made sure that they were put to good use. People at Dholavira had bathing systems, water lines etc. around 4500 years ago. I remember studying at school about the advanced water systems and architecture of the Harappan and Mohenjodaro civilizations. It was amazing to see them in real. I remember about an other King Sri KrishnaDevaraya of Hampi Vijayanagaram. It was written that diamonds were sold in heaps on the streets, there were no doors to the houses. People and civilizations prospered. People were happy.

It reminds me of the never ending debate - Capitalism vs. Socialism. Capitalism is an economic system where the resources are privately owned. The main thrust of capitalism is that resources are owned by an individual or a group of individuals. For instance, a company can be run by one person or a group of people. The resources of the individual is used and traded solely by his decision. Capitalism uses the willpower of individuals, especially entrepreneurs, to foment economic activity. Capitalism is based on the assumption that individuals operate based on self interest; however, by doing so not only help themselves, but also propel others towards economic success. As Adam Smith put it "By directing that industry in such a manner as its produce may be of the greatest value, he intends only his gain, and he is in this as many other cases, led by an invisible hand to promote an end which was no part of his intention. Nor it is always worse for the society that it was no part of his intention. By pursuing his own interest, he frequently promotes that of the society more effectively than when he really intends to promote it".

India is a Sovereign Socialist Secular Democratic republic. Socialism is a system where goods are owned by the state or the public. Capitalism is apparently founded on the belief that competition brings out the best in people. Socialism, on the other hand, believes that cooperation is the best way for people to coexist. The main difference between these two economic systems is the so called distribution and earning of wealth. In capitalism, everyone works for his own wealth, while in socialism everyone works for wealth which is distributed equally to everyone.

The authors of our constitution had a vision for this great country, India. They might have designed the constitution with that vision and with Gandhian era principles. But where are we now. People in the so called socialist republic are on neither side. Probably Nepotism is a near good word to describe the current attitude. I am ending this post on a note of cynicism as we all know the solution for this.

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The pursuit of Happiness

"Many go fishing all their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after." -Thoreau

I came across this quote in one of my aimless internet browsing sessions. These sessions have considerably increased over the last one month as the reasons being summer internship at a remote village in Gujarat, where the work is done mostly from my room. If you expect this post to be somehow related to the famous movie of Chris Gartner, you might be wrong to the most part. But I confess that I chose the title of the blog as the movie's name as I did not find anything more catchy. This is similar to the packaging part of marketing, yes this is how people start to think after an year of MBA. This short post of mine is more of a retrospection of few aspects of my life, and I bet most of us would have had similar experiences.

I remember this incident when I was seven years old. I completed my second standard and was about to join my third standard. We visited our grandpa's place in Guntur. Guntur was and still is the favorite destination for most of my cousins. I still cherish the endless get-together s of all families of my Mom's sisters and the fun we all had. This was also a similar visit and the most important achievement that time was I learned to ride a bicycle. I loved it. I was just seven years old and my love for driving started then. Then started my first big desire - a bicycle. After a big fuss which I created, my grandpa agreed to buy me a bicycle on my mom's behalf. Here started my big chain of gadgets acquisition list.

I loved toys. My list for new toys always kept growing. I bought a toy gun whenever I visited exhibitions or amusement parks. I loved cars, especially remote controlled. I remember a remote controlled BMW, my Dad brought from Singapore. I loved it but as most of the children do, I somehow damaged it and broke it after sometime. Then came MRF racing jeeps. My long list never ended. As I grew older, electronic gadgets came in. It started with video game. The video game cassettes 16 in 1; 700 in 1 and remember the games CONTRA, Mario and many more. My mom and Dad always gave into my brother's and my wishes. But I now realize the happiness they felt when we were excited by such small things.

Then the came the real stuff. Life, Career.. OMG! The need for achieving, winning and recognition etc. My first academic achievement was my class 10th board exams. I felt proud when everybody of my family congratulated me. Then was the engineering entrance exam, job, CAT etc. Sometimes, I also felt bad about the road not taken. After joining my electrical engineering, I wondered many a time whether I should have chosen Medicine. I hope at least this list stops after MBA. But there is one thing, the joy or happiness an achievement gives us is beautiful. It is much sweeter when we get something after we work hard for it. The hope and plans for future never stopped. Now its even more serious and realistic! Love, marriage etc. for life and of course job, companies etc. for career.

Planning for future is good. In fact, "It pays to plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark". But I started wondering, will this planning ever stop!! Will a time come when I would say Enough, I have all I want. I don't know about this but most of the great people preached that self satisfaction is very necessary for any man. But at the same time there are people who told that people should always be aiming for growth and betterment. Inspiration, Motivation etc. etc. They are not at all bad, in fact they are very much needed to survive in today's world. But there was a time when these were not needed. People were happy. I always told my friends and I still believe that happiness is what we should all yearn for. I only hope that all this planning, yearning, etc. will lead me to a perfect and happy life. After all, the Bible says “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

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Shit happens...

Shit happens... "A fictitious explanation of the origin of this phrase occurs in the 1994 film Forrest Gump. During his capricious run, a bumper sticker salesman running alongside him points out to Forrest that he has just stepped in a pile of dog feces. When Forrest replies, "It happens", the man replies, "What, shit?", to which Forrest replies, "Sometimes". The man is then inspired to create the "Shit Happens" bumper sticker. - Wikipedia". On the last weekend, we three friends - Amit, Bharadwaz and I, set out on an adventure, though at start we never knew it was going to be one, when we really found out how true the phrase can be.

5PM, 12th March 2011. Tendulkar was blazing away in the match against South Africa. We were in our rooms, excitedly packing our stuff as we had our train scheduled at 7.30PM. The auto has come on time and we as a bunch of over punctual guys, started at 5.45PM. We reached Lucknow railway station at exactly 6.45PM, 45 minutes before the scheduled departure of the train. The moods were high with Bharadwaz constantly pulling the leg of Amit and I was enjoying the moment. Here is the first shock. The train is delayed by 2 hours, i.e. 9.30PM. Luckily, the station hotel had an amazing restaurant and we had a decent dinner there whiling away time. We slowly came out at 9 and the second shock, our Farakka express postponed to 11.30PM. As were still in the dilemma of what to do, the chart changed to 12.30PM. The last thing we wanted was the tran reaching Delhi late and we stuck in the middle of no where. We got our flight tickets booked and there was some strange joy amidst the apathy and our confidence of winning shot up. We came back to the campus, sat in my room for a quick meeting and finished all the last minute changes. Travel in Business suits - Direct flight to Delhi - Winning - Kick some a** ; the thoughts going on in our minds then. We were looking forward to the final round of the competition, for which we have put in so much effort and felt that no body can stop us winning.

Feb 19th, 2011; The competition. Bharadwaz and I set out to Agra. It was my third time and enjoyed the city as always. The Taj was as beautiful as ever and cannot forget Bharadwaz's amazing stunts with the photographer. Amit, already in town, joined us on the evening and we three started to Jaipur. The research we planned had gone so smoothly and quiet contended we returned to Lucknow. The travel was a typical teenage boys way, bus at the last moment, dinner at dhabas, road side biryani etc. Enjoyed every moment though. The bigger effort started in Lucknow to compile the report and the deadline was 1st March. We shared work, took turns, did what ever, but complied a solid report and we were so content and satisfied with our work. As expected we blazed into the final round and no stopping what so ever. The efforts did not stop. We compiled a beautiful presentation for the final round, amidst classes, quizzes, assignment etc. and hence were all set for the finals on 13th March 2011, in Delhi.

March 13th, 2011; The D day. The morning flight to Delhi was pleasant and we reached the venue by 12. The news came that our return train was cancelled. we never cared, booked the next days flight to Lucknow. We had some last minute preparations and we were all set for the event to start. We were the first team to present and we made full use of it. The presentation from the beginning to the end was exciting and the Q&A part was fantastic. We did it. Our presentation really reflected all the hard work for the last one month. We were happy and confident. The other teams presented. We asked a few interesting questions and our confidence even increased. After 4 hours of start, the presentations ended and the judges went out for discussion. I hate this moment. This was my fourth event in a row and still a strange nervousness takes over. The judges finally came. And there it was. Our name was announced among the consolation prizes. This was the biggest shock. We were really disappointed. This was real disappointment. We were angry, disappointed, shocked. I tried to keep my calm but felt really low. It wasn't really about winning or loosing, it was all about expectations and in this case they were justified by the amount of effort, our solid presentation etc. I felt that the impact on the judges was not long enough as ours was the first presentation on that day. I always think and also preach that life is not all about winning but they all did not matter.

14th March, 2011. We got to sleep only for a few hours as we had our flight back to Lucknow early in the morning. We were tired and exhausted but life does not stop. We were back at our campus by 7AM and as usual - classes, assignments, quizzes...

Overall, we had quite an experience. We now know how important is small things like checking whether the train is on time or not before leaving to the station, flights are always better and above all how to win the next time. I remember the words of our HR Prof, last term - "Kyu daru zindagi se kya hoga... kuch nahi hoga tho tajurbha hoga...".

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The Striking Eight

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.”

In the pic (left to right): Ravi Teja, Karthik, Dheeru, Prashanti, Jhansi, Satya, Kishore, Nagendra, Mukesh.

9:30 PM, July 31st, 2010

"Sir, aapka pizza ready hai", a guy from Dominos was speaking to me on phone. What the hell! I did not order any pizza. But the number and address he told are exactly mine. Who could have ordered a pizza on my name?? I thought it was a prank and told him not to waste time thinking about this order.

9:40 PM: "Era pizza vadda? (don't want pizza?)", Nagendra, one of my friends from B Tech has ordered it for me. It was friendship day the next day. How could I forget it??

Its been more than two years since B Tech and we, the members of our small gang "The Striking Eight (Yea! there are nine members in the pic, and still its Striking Eight!)", are now in six different cities. Though there was no regular hanging out, parties, outings as we had during our engineering, we still have the same essence of friendship, sharing our joy, tears, experiences etc..

Graduation days are the best days of our lives for most of us. And may be striking eight is one of the prominent reasons that I still cherish my B Tech life. Not only we had lots of fun together, but there was something unique about each one of us. We shared the most personal of things, advised the toughest advices, always had a shoulder to lean on.

"Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success" - Oscar Wilde

True isn't it? We found great joy in each others successes. Striking eight is the first thing comes to my mind to share any joy. I cannot forget the night IIM L's results were out. I was in Pune then, had a small but a great party with Kishore and Nagendra, who were equally happy on my success. This year had been a wonderful year so far for us, as four of us left our IT jobs for something bigger and better. This includes me getting into IIM L, Karthik getting into MDI and Nagendra becoming a scientist at ISRO.

Missing you all.. Wishing you all the very best in life.. Three cheers to Striking Eight..!!

Karthik had a wonderful experience to add to this post

"First Puf and First Sip!!

In the peak winters of Jaipur, with Marlboro packet (we never compromise on brand as always :P), we are scouting for a place to taste our first puff. I remember the reactions on every body's face, the confusion whether to smoke or not. Then our mentor Kishore lighted up the ceremony and all inexperienced followers tried their hand. What a memorable night it was!

Then comes our philosophical journey of drinking, which was initiated by our Dheeru. I remember his uneasiness to get into that wine shop to ask for a beer :-). Though it was not a successful step, We ended up drinking RED BULLS! My first step into the world of drinking and no stopping there after ;). Finally that beer bottle was used as a model, guys lined up to take a photo with it. Not to mention our Nag was damn good at giving his wonderful poses as always :-) haha.. another adventurous night to remember..

We enjoy together.. We spoil together.. STICKY STRIKING 8!!!"

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