Learnings from my Son - Part 2

Over the last 15 months, the world has been reeling under the Covid 19 pandemic. The suffering across the world is at levels unseen after World War 2. In an age with advanced scientific research capabilities and medical care, we could not have imagined the entire world crippled by a virus. And Covid 19 showed how vulnerable we are. 

People across the world were pushed indoors, and any job that could be done from home became work from home for the foreseeable future. Mine too. However, in my work, we meet our customers at retail showrooms, and it required regular visits from me to our workplaces. I started working from home at least 2-3 working days per week, starting March 2020. It gave the opportunity to bond with my son, Aaron, and spend quality time with him which otherwise I could not have got. This is also the age where he has grown from a toddler to a young boy, where he started displaying his interests, his distinct streaks, which were real exciting to watch. Over the last one year, Aaron and I developed our daily routine together. This starts in the morning where we have our morning coffee (and his milk) together, and go down to the play area for a quick stroll. I look forward to this 30-45 min stroll everyday, probably as much as he does. After we come back, we have breakfast together, and I start working. Aaron and I again spend time in the evening, from around 6PM till he sleeps. 

Aaron and me at our play area

I wrote part 1 of this post last year, where I mentioned four of my learnings from Aaron. And over the last one year, there are many more interesting learnings I have from Aaron. These learnings are from my experiences with him, and this time are more situational. I will do my best to capture them along with the situations.

Live in the Moment. Everyday in our daily walk, Aaron takes a cycle ride along the walking path, to the play area. He has four things to play in the kids play area - A swing, a slide, a merry go round, a climber. Everyday, he plays on al four things for 5-10 mins each, with almost the same enthusiasm. There is no other thought during this time, and he thoroughly enjoys each minute of this time. No thoughts on next tasks, breakfast, or anything else. 

Take the exciting path, even if it's difficult. We have a sofa beside our bed, at roughly one hand distance. Aaron has discovered a new path get down from the bed. He jumps onto the sofa, walks across the sofa hands, jumps onto the cushion, and then jumps on his chair (which he places at the edge of the sofa), and then gets down. He could get down directly from the bed onto the floor, he doesn't. He enjoys treading this difficult path, every time. This simple anecdote is repeated in may such instances, where he takes the exciting path over the fastest/easiest ones. 

Find joy in everything. Aaron seems to find a way to play or find joy in everything he finds. He is also curious to pick up anything he finds, be it a leaf from a tree or kitchen utensils or his own toys. Also, there are bigger things which all kids enjoy like playing in the sand, or playing with water. What seems to be amaze me is that he never gets bored even after playing numerous times. 

Only take what you need, always. As Aaron entered into his fourth year, he started developing strong interests on what he wants to eat, what he wants to wear. And most of the times, it is only his favourite that he wants. He has one sweater and two jackets to wear during winters, and he only wears one, always. He only wears one pair of shoes. When it comes to food, he is very clear about how much he wants and what he wants. Even when it comes to his favourite desserts, he stops after a scoop of ice cream or two gulab jamuns. Only area this principle doesn't apply is his toys, but even there he somehow started to enjoy giving away his toys to others. Looks like kids are born with minimalistic principles. 

The quote I mentioned in my last post seems more relevant than ever - "While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about".

Giants of Indian Politics: Shree K R Narayanan

Over the last two decades, politics in India and most countries across the world, has gone from one of the most respected/responsible profession to a dirty one. The values of erstwhile politicians like from Nationalism, Idealism, are rarely seen now. Today, there are not many politicians in India who stand for what our founding fathers stood for. In these times, this series is a humble attempt to share about some of the giants of Indian politics. This post is a collection of excerpts from various publications, those which reflect my thoughts. 

Kocheril Raman Narayanan served as the 10th President of India (1997–2002). K. R. Narayanan was born in a small thatched hut at Perumthanam, Uzhavoor, Kerala, as the fourth of seven children of Kocheril Raman Vaidyar, a practitioner of the traditional Indian medical systems of Siddha, Ayurveda. His family belonging to the Paravan caste,( whose members are assigned the task of plucking coconuts as per the caste system) was poor, but his father was respected for his medical acumen. He was born on 4 February 1921, but his uncle, who accompanied him on his first day in school, did not know his actual date of birth, and arbitrarily chose 27 October 1920 for the records; Narayanan later chose to let it remain official. Narayanan had his early schooling in Uzhavoor at the Government Lower Primary School, Kurichithanam and Our Lady of Lourdes Upper Primary School. He walked to school for about 15 kilometres daily through paddy fields, and was often unable to pay the modest fees. He often listened to school lessons while standing outside the classroom, having been barred from attending because tuition fees were outstanding. The family lacked money to buy books and his elder brother K. R. Neelakantan, who was confined to home as he was suffering from asthma, used to borrow books from other students, copy them down, and give them to Narayanan.

Narayan obtained his B. A. and M.A. in English literature from the University of Travancore (1940–43) (present day University of Kerala), standing first in the university, thus becoming the first Dalit to obtain this degree with first class in Travancore. With his family facing grave difficulties, he left for Delhi and worked for some time as a journalist with The Hindu and The Times of India (1944–45). During this time he once interviewed Mahatma Gandhi in Bombay on his own volition (10 April 1945). In 1944, Narayanan was awarded a Tata Scholarship of Rs. 16,000 by J. R. D. Tata to read politics, economics and journalism at the London School of Economics (LSE). 

When Narayanan returned to India in 1948, Laski gave him a letter of introduction to Prime minister Jawaharlal Nehru. Harold Laski was the Chairman of British Labour party at that time, and also Professor in Economics, at the London School of Economics. Following this, Narayanan joined the foreign services in 1949 and worked in the embassies of Rangoon (now Yangon), Tokyo, London, Canberra and Hanoi. He was also the ambassador of Thailand (1967-1969), Turkey (1973-1975) and China (1976). It was for the first time in 15 years that an Indian ambassador was sent to China. Former diplomat A.K. Damodaran had said, “That he was personally chosen by Indira Gandhi in 1976 to head the mission in Beijing, which was closed for 15 years, speaks volumes about his credentials as a diplomat.” Hailed as the best diplomat of the country by Nehru, Narayanan joined politics on Indira Gandhi’s request and went on to win three general elections in 1984, 1989 and 1991 from Kerala’s Palakkad on a Congress ticket and was a minister in the Rajiv Gandhi government.

In his address to the nation during the Golden Jubilee celebrations of Republic Day in 2000, Narayanan expressed his concern over how social, economic and political justice still remain an unfulfilled dream for millions of Indians even 50 years after India became a republic. Narayanan also said the status of women in the country was “the greatest national drawback”. He supported the Women’s Reservation Bill and said the major gains of democracy was the “ever-growing active participation of women in the political process, not just as voters but as elected representatives”. He expressed his displeasure over the government’s stance on some issues, including the Babri Masjid-Ram Temple dispute. Narayanan described the demolition of Babri Masjid as the greatest tragedy India faced after the assassination of Mahatma Gandhi. Narayanan had criticised the Atal Bihari Vajpayee government for not taking appropriate actions early enough to stop the communal riots in Gujarat in 2002. Calling the riots the “most difficult dilemma of his career”, he had later said he did suggest the government to deploy the Army, but the government did not follow up with action. 

While working in Rangoon, Burma (Myanmar), K. R. Narayanan met Ma Tint Tint, whom he later married in Delhi on 8 June 1951. Ma Tint Tint was active in the YWCA and on hearing that Narayanan was a student of Laski, approached him to speak on political freedom before her circle of acquaintances. Their marriage needed a special dispensation from Nehru as per Indian law, because Narayanan was in the IFS and she was a foreigner. Ma Tint Tint adopted the Indian name Usha and became an Indian citizen. Usha Narayanan worked on several social welfare programs for women and children in India and completed her Masters in Social Work from Delhi School of Social Work.

In the general elections of 1998, K. R. Narayanan became the first sitting President to vote (16 February 1998), casting his vote at a polling booth in a school within the Rashtrapati Bhavan complex after standing in a queue like an ordinary citizen. He insisted on casting his vote, despite the departure from precedent being pointed out to him. Narayanan sought to change what was a long-standing practice of Indian presidents not voting during general elections. President Narayanan in his speeches consistently sought to remind the nation of its duties and obligations towards the Dalits and Adivasis, the minorities, and the poor and downtrodden. He called the nation's attention to various recalcitrant social ills and evils, such as atrocities against women and children, caste discrimination and the ingrained attitudes it nurtured, abuse of the environment and public utilities, corruption and lack of accountability in the delivery of public services, religious fundamentalism, advertisement-driven consumerism, and flouting of human rights, and lamented the absence of public concern, political debate, and civic action to address them. Drawing from the experiences of his own home state Kerala, he pointed out that education was at the root of human and economic development. He hoped that the establishment would not fear the awakening of the masses through education, and spoke of the need to have faith in the people. Throughout his Presidency, Narayanan adopted the policy of not visiting places of worship or godmen/godwomen; he is the only President to have followed this practice.

About his life and its message, K. R. Narayanan said: I see and understand both the symbolic as well as the substantive elements of my life. Sometimes I visualise it as a journey of an individual from a remote village on the sidelines of society to the hub of social standing. But at the same time I also realise that my life encapsulates the ability of the democratic system to accommodate and empower marginalised sections of society. Narayanan passed away in 2005 at the age of 85. He is and will be remembered as the President, who never shied away from speaking his mind and didn’t hesitate to call a spade a spade.

A glimpse into the Post Covid World - My Experience

It was an uneasy feeling getting ready to go to work, on the morning of 12th May 2020. It was 58 days since I last went to my office, and over 50 days since I went onto the main roads of Bangalore. Though I felt multiple times that working from home is difficult, the comfortable routine of not having to drive for 2 hours a day, being able to spend more time with my wife and son, are something not easy to suddenly stop. I finally started to drive, and an unusual excitement of being able to finally get back to work, overtook the uneasiness.

Bangalore felt different from the city that I lived in for the past five years. In just 60 days, Covid19 and the lockdown changed the world in many ways, and many things may not be the same anymore. In this post, I try to capture some of my first feelings of how things seemed different, in the Post Covid World. 

As I drove past the end of my street and onto the main road, the uncle who always had a cart of tender coconuts was missing. In the next junction, the familiar Hindi speaking family with men, women, kids, who sold everything from balloons, to mobile phone cases to utensils, were missing. As I went past Koramangala, familiar sight of a woman in her 70's, asking for money and thanking those who gave her money in flawless English, was missing. All of them would have been hit very hard by Covid. I only hope that they are safe during this crisis, and found help wherever they are. 

Post Covid world is a masked world. Masks are now mandatory in India, and also in most countries around the world. As someone said, it is unfortunate that we have to wear a mask to breathe, when the air is the cleanest in the last few years. There is a definite sense of fear in meeting people, even amongst friends or colleagues. People have a constant proximity alert, and are maintaining distancing consciously. It is great that people have taken the message of social distancing seriously, the constant fear and suspicion is just sad. (Photo not shot by me)

The usually buzzing Koramangala was calm, silent, at 6PM. Home to some of the best hangout places in the city, it was a sight that no one would have expected ever. The restaurants and all dine-in places are under mandatory shutdown till the 17th of May; but even after they open, Covid 19 would change the way we hangout. The familiar sight of overflowing pubs, coffee shops, may just remain the thing of the past.

I felt covid made us more disciplined. One noticeable sight to see discipline is queues, everywhere. Starting from kirana shops to road side fruit vendors. With the population of India, and the population density in cities, I never remember standing in a queue, without being constantly pushed by the person behind. Covid managed to teach us how to stand in queue, with minimum contact with the person in front. Some of the other things like spitting in public places is banned, after Covid. These are definite welcome changes of Covid. 

I could see people walking, on main roads and interior roads alike. With no public transport, and to have to get to work, it is a sad sight to see scores of people just walking with no end in sight. I can only imagine the plight the migrant workers went through, walking hundreds of Kilometres to get home. Even after public transport and shared transport companies start operating, it is imperative that the num of people per vehicle would drastically come down because of physical distancing norms. Does that mean people would shift to personal transport. May be; but the question is can Indian cities take so many vehicles. In the gig economy, where having no personal vehicle and just doing Ola/Uber to work was a thing, we just have to wait and watch as to how this space will evolve. 

Covid 19 times: Can the world be this kind, always?

Covid 19 has brought the world to a standstill. Over four Billion people are under lockdown across the world, and all sectors which are not essential, are closed. Even during the recession of 2008, or the great depression in the 1930s, many important sectors like the manufacturing, retail trade, were open; even though the volume of business saw a steep decline. Developed and developing nations alike, rich and poor alike, the corona virus did not spare anyone who stood in its way. 

Covid 19 is a highly infectious disease caused by SARS COV2 virus, which was first identified in Wuhan in Dec 2019. The World Health Organisation has declared Covid 19 an International Public Health Emergency on the 30th of Jan 2020, and a Pandemic on the 11th of March 2020. As on today, 13th April, Covid 19 has infected close to 1.9M people across the world, and over 115,000 people died from the disease. Close to 70% of the infections are in the US and Europe together, and over 80% deaths are also from these regions; ironically the regions which had some of the best healthcare systems in the world. 

As in any Global catastrophe, Covid 19 has hit the poor very hard. With the entire unorganised sector coming to a grinding halt, millions of people were pushed into unemployment all of a sudden. Daily wage labourers working in construction, manufacturing, and other small scale jobs, are jobless all of a sudden. With no income, and no way to provide for their families, millions of people across the world face the most basic challenge - food. To share few statistics, India's unemployment may have risen to 23% by April 5th, from 6% just weeks ago, as per Center for Monitoring Indian Economy. In the US, over 3 Million people applied for unemployment benefits in April, compared to the previous highest of 600,000 in the 1980s. With Covid 19 still rampant across the globe, most countries are looking to extend the lockdowns, which could be devastating for the poor and under privileged. 

The situation across some of the African countries is most worrisome. With a weak healthcare infrastructure, we can only hope that the damage in these countries can be contained quickly. I was reading about possible outbreaks of Covid 19 in war stricken regions like Yemen, Syria etc; I sincerely pray that these nations do not come in the path of the virus. Situation across the world is concerning, and we can talk about various countries and the damage to lives, economies, that Covid 19 has caused. But, in the next few paragraphs, I would limit myself to only India.

The lockdown in India was started from the 25th of March 2020, and it was announced on the 24th of March 2020. It caused mass panic across the country. Thousands of migrant workers across cities started to look for ways to get home, facing unemployment in their current cities. Really heartbreaking scenes from across the country as the reality of a sudden lockdown started to sink in. State Governments were not prepared to handle to the scale of commotion, and have started scrambling for ways to control the mass exodus. Various shelter homes were prepared within 1-2 days, which can hold thousands and lacs of workers, with access to free food. State Governments started distribution of ration (Rice, Dal and few other perishables) through various channels. Situation looks to have come under control only after 10 days of lock down. 

This led to a nation wide outcry, with people demanding the Governments to act fast. Commendable statements were made by Chief Ministers of many states, pledging to provide immediate support, free rations to the needy, and arrange for help in anyway possible. Many companies pledged hundreds of crores of rupees, to fight the damage caused by the pandemic. NGOs across the country sprang into action. Hundreds of crores of Rupees were raised within days, and distribution of aid started across the country. PM Cares (Prime Minister's Citizen assistance and Relief in Emergency Situations) received more than 6500 crore Rupees (close to 1B USD), in just one week.

People across the country felt the pain, and rose to action. This is the first time I experienced help coming in from so many people, in their own ways, through donations or through distribution of aid. Stories of celebrities pledging crores of Rupees, to children breaking their piggy banks to donate to Covid 19 relief, the stories were just amazing. NGOs raising money required for various campaigns within days, helped them to accelerate their efforts and start new campaigns. For Ex: Give India's campaign for 25Cr Rupees was completed within few days, and they started another campaign for 25 Crore Rupees. Many people started their own channels through which aid was being distributed. FeedmyBangalore, FeedmyHyderabad were started by group of entrepreneurs, which were later extended to 3 more cities, and more than a Million meals were distributed within weeks. Companies mobilised efforts to help their own freelance partners who were left without work. For Ex: Ola started its own campaign, so did Uber, Rapido, Swiggy and many other firms. Such extraordinary acts of kindness by so many individuals, corporates, governments, in a concerted way to solve one big crisis, is really heartwarming. People determined to help in anyway possible, and take the nation through this crisis, is one of the few encouraging news in otherwise gloomy times. 

This is the first time I experienced such a large mobilisation of relief. Can the world always be this kind? India has been battling many many issues since the past few decades, and fellow citizens coming forward to solve some of these issues, can do wonders. Basic necessities like Education, Healthcare are luxuries for at least 1/3rd of Indians, and there are many other issues like Children's rights, Retirement facilities (care for the old), Agriculture improvement, Rural development, poverty, which need urgent attention. The country needs this kindness after Covid 19 passes. 

The Pursuit of Inclusive Growth

It was 2010, and around six months after the death of a beloved Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh, Dr Y S Rajashekar Reddy. I was in a B School interview, when the panel suddenly starts a new line of questions on politics of AP. It then led to the rule of YSR, and his ambitious goals for inclusive growth in the state. Inclusive growth is where the economic growth creates growth and opportunities to all sections of the society. All people participate in the economic growth, directly or indirectly. The pursuit of inclusive growth involves investment in sectors like Agriculture, Industrial development, Education and Healthcare, Social welfare projects etc. Looking back to my interview question, for YSR to have Inclusive Growth as broad vision, in a developing country like India, is commendable.

With population growth across the world, the last 100 years has brought in a drastic divide between the people. Uber rich, extreme poor, were rarely used in the context of the 19th century world. Many events which happened in the last 100 years, like the world wars, the recessions, or the regional conflicts, which have only worsened the problem. The difference of income, and the lack of inclusive growth is visible not only in the developing countries, but also the developed world.

Let us look at the graph which indicates the total income of top 1% vs the total income of bottom 50%. Its shows a staggering and also frightening trend. The US being a capitalist economy always thrived on successful industries and businesses, and the consumerist lifestyle of the 20th century only added fuel to the fire. But should the Governments be doing enough to protect the bottom 50% of the people.  

What about the next graph. This is the Consumer price index of Housing, Education and all items. The Consumer Price Index (CPI) is a measure that examines the weighted average of prices of a basket of consumer goods and services, such as transportation, food and medical care. It is calculated by taking price changes for each item in the predetermined basket of goods and averaging them. The cost of Education, has grown at a rate which is at least 5-6 times the rate of growth of other items. 

How can Education become so commercial?

Isn't Education a basic necessity? 
Should the Government have safety nets for most basic needs like Education, Health etc?

The charts are only of US, and are not indicative of other countries. With people and Governments across the world taking the US as the ideal model of development, till at least a decade ago if not now, most of us are going in the same direction. The story is the same in China to Japan to Europe to Asia; some better than the rest. The gap between rich and poor increasing; the most basic necessities are quickly going off reach of most people. 

The world population has grown from around 1.7B in 1900 to 7.7B in 2020. Rapid decrease in infant mortality rates, and increase in life expectancy, due to the advancements made in medicine and health care, are some of the major reasons for this increase. The growth was fuelled by India and China, and slowly the African countries have started to lead the growth. Is this rapid population increase a reason. Yes, definitely, but it may not be the only reason. We all know by now the dire consequences of the one child policy in China; though it drastically controlled the population growth rate. 

By now, it is clear that we need Universal prosperity for us to have prosperity in our lives. Everything else, is short lived. So what should the Governments across the world do? I may not be experienced enough the impossible question of inclusive growth. But over the past few years, some of the measures taken in India are bang in the right direction. Though I did not understand them then, I now feel it is commendable for Governments to take welfare measures within their limited means. 

- MNREGA was launched in 2005 to give employment with local development activities

- Education for all scheme was launched by the former CM of AP, Dr YSR in 2006, where the fees is paid by the Government till Graduation. 

- Health for all scheme was launched in 2007 again by the same CM, where even treatment in private hospitals is paid by the Government

- Prime Minister's Kisan Samman Nidhi and multiple other schemes which create a safety net for the farmers in India
- Very encouraging to see the Government schools in Delhi rise up to the standards of private schools

Not only these, some of the regulations in various industries ensured that the consumers are not taken for a ride. We can all think that these are unnecessary red tape of license raj, but Im now confident that they are there to stop India from becoming another US. 

- There are price caps for most drugs

- Taxi fares are capped. We cant just follow the demand model, even if it is practical.

- Strong regulations from telecom to real estate to even FMCG, not only protects consumer's interests but also to prevent predatory pricing, thus preventing monopolies. 

But are these enough, definitely not. Only Welfare schemes, or strides in Education and Healthcare are not enough. How can Governments bridge the gap between the rich and the poor, is going to be the key factor in the direction of inclusive growth. The measures taken by Governments are hardly reaching the masses, leave alone making the difference. In the 21st century, let us all demand these from our Governments; even if we don't need these, Universal prosperity can be the only way we can truly have peace and happiness. 

The Perils of War

Multiple wars were fought in the world, starting from ancient history to medieval to even recent days. We have been taught about various wars in school, starting from Alexander the great, to the Battles of Panipat, Battles of Mysore and many more. Though the World wars have not been taught in great detail (or that is how I remember), they are the most recent, and wars which were waged at a scale never seen before.

World War 1. What started as a conflict between Austria-Hungary and Serbia, quickly escalated as a the great war (it was so called before the world war 2), with a dozen countries stepping in to fight on either sides. Close to 20 Million people lost their lives from the war, and around 50 Million died in the following years due to consequences of the war. This was around 4-5% of the total world population during that time.

World War 2. What started as an ambitious, power hungry campaigns, by Hitler in Europe and the Japanese empire in the East, engulfed the world in a war which changed the course of humanity forever. Close to 100 Million lives were lost, and also led to some of the most barbaric incidents that the world has ever seen, like the Holocaust and the use of atom bombs. The Atom bomb dropped on Hiroshima killed close to 100,000 people in minutes, and another 200,000 to 300,000 in the subsequent few days. This inscription in the Hiroshima peace museum tells a thousand words.

After the World War 2, countries around the world pledged against wars. The United Nations was born in the April of 1945, with 50 countries as its members, in a single mission to maintain world peace. After the catastrophic scale of destruction seen in the World War 2, and the ability of countries to launch modern (and shameful) weapons of destruction, it was clear to everyone that the World cannot afford another war. There are also people/countries who say that the World Wars have accelerated their industrial production. But the fact that there are many countries which have not participated in the war, and are now amongst the developed nations, proves that we do not need a war for industrial development.

The British Empire collapsed and so did the European reign in Africa and across the world. Many European countries announced reparations and privileges for their former colonies, to undo some of the losses from their reign. The world learned that no Countries' greed in great enough to rule the world. But what happened after this. Wars continued. The US and Russia were entangled in Wars across the Globe, apart from the cold war for 45 years. There were wars in Iraq, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Syria, Libya, Yemen, India-Pakistan and we can keep going. My interest recently was drawn to the events which led to the Vietnam war, and the war itself. The Vietnam war shows the lengths that countries can go to, with no respect to the cost of the war; and also shows that countries can wage wars with no objective at all.

An American Socialist, Historian quotes "Vietnam war was a like a wound that never heals".  Vietnam was a French colony since the 1880's; and with France surrendering to Hitler during WW2, it gave Japan the way to occupy Vietnam. After Japan retreated at the end of WW2 in August of 1945, French reclaimed its territory and recolonised Vietnam. A North Vietnam uprising supported by Russia, led by Ho Chi Minh (Do read about him, one of the most inspiring personalities across the World), began the revolt against the French. The French, already exhausted from the WW2, quickly started moving out of Vietnam. This was the time the US stepped in, with an objective to save Vietnam from becoming a communist state. After the French moved out, the US supported a weak South Vietnam Government, and waged a 20 year long war from mid 1950's to mid 1970's. President after President, from Eisenhower to JFK to Lyndon Johnson to Richard Nixon, have only stepped up the war, inspite of campaigning for ending the war. US resorted to warfare not seen before. Agent Orange (Napalm) was used to destroy all plant life, in an effort to starve North Vietnamese; Napalm later had many many serious health complications on the people of that region. The only way Americans measured the success, during most times of the war, was the body count and kill ratio.

In the clock wise direction, the first image is that of the US Army, during the battle of Dak To, where they conquered Hill 875; US lost close to 500 men, and killed closed to 5 times more this number. (Do read about this to understand the heights of lack of objective, during the war. 

The second photo is where the chief of police of South Vietnam shoots a suspect, in cold blood, on open street. The photo became viral across the US, and fuelled many anti war protests.

The monk who set himself on fire, as the South Vietnam attacked the religious institutions across the country. This was an extra ordinary act, which turned the people of South Vietnam against their own Government. Though the South Vietnamese Government downplayed this, the US knew that this is the beginning of the end for the South Vietnamese regime. 

The last photo, which haunts even the hard hearted, is famously known as the picture of the Napalm girl. The photo was taken in 1972, immediately after the US dropped Napalm on a village in North Vietnam. Children could be seen running away from the bomb, helplessly. The girl in the photo, miraculously survived, and now lives in Canada. 

After two decades of War, the US negotiated a peace deal between the South Vietnam and North Vietnam Governments, and exited the war. Without US, the South Vietnam Government was overthrown in a few months, and the North Vietnam united the country under a single Government. Thus was born the Socialist Republic of Vietnam. US lost close to 60000 men and scores injured, scarred for life; all of this for nothing. Close to 2 Million Vietnamese were killed during these 20 years; and the country completely destroyed. 

Even today, there are wars being fought in Libya, Yemen, Iraq, Syria and many other places. The wars are being fought or supported by some of the mightiest nations like the US, Russia etc. Haunting images like the above have become more common. Like in any war, it is the people who are the most vulnerable. 

Who are we doing these for? In the 21st century, can wars between nations be ever won? When will this stop? I can only say that we the people can also do our bit to stop these wars. Let us not forget the pressure that Americans put on their Governments during the Vietnam war and the war in Iraq. Let us also not forget that Europe, where most of the wars originated, is no more involved in any wars. Let us start talking against it. Let us all say, No to War. 

Calm - A Super power

I live around an hour's drive away from work, and was driving back after a long day of work. Another driver taking a rash turn, nicked my car, causing a deep scratch on the front bumper.

I was late for work by 15 mins, and was having breakfast hurriedly. Aaron my three year old son, who was playing right beside me at the dining table, spilled his hot milk on my shirt.

I was preparing for a very important meeting with the leadership team at work, and one of my team members who was helping me prepare the content, has failed to share his part on time.

The Ironing guy burnt one of the shirts, the cab guy cancelled, exam results were bad, much prepared interview was postponed, dinner at a restaurant was particularly bad and so on. Im sure we would have faced more than one of the above situations. And most of the above situations have happened for no fault of ours. Yes, this is life.

As they say, life is a roller coaster ride. And sometimes, the crests and troughs of life are as small as the above situations. Life keeps throwing situations like these at us, (and also situations much bigger and much worse than these); and life is what happens when we react to these situations. As the famous saying goes, "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react". 

Let us think about how we react to these situations. We get angry or even furious, we shout on the person at fault, we loose our mind on thinking what is wrong with these people, and finally getting upset over these and losing few hours or few days. A lot of times, this anger or these reactions, have a lot of impact on people around us. Not all people react in this way; we might have seen few people react to most of the above situations in a calm and composed way. For a moment, let us understand that there is no correct reaction to the above situations; people can and do react in their own ways.

However, I always felt that people who react in calm way are the ones that loose very little in any situation. Yes, we loose or win with every reaction; and the cost always may not be monetary. On most occasions, people who react in a calm way, also are the ones who take better and informed decisions. They are also the ones who do not cascade the reaction from one situation to people around them. This post is about how can one practice being calm. How can one develop the superpower to stay calm. I believe that the ability to react in calm way to life, is developed through our own personal experiences. However, I also believe that they can be learned, like any other life skill. These 5 simple points are from my experience only, and has helped me stay calm on numerous occasions. And definitely, one need not be a sage or zen, to have this superpower.

Accept that life is not going to be a smooth ride. Life is not meant to be a smooth ride. Why not? Because our lives are interconnected with so many people, so many things, and any disturbance in any of the variables involved, leads to an impact on our lives. There are always going to be things which are out of control, and they only way we reduce the impact on our lives is identifying them and reducing the impact of them going wrong. For Example: If I have an important meeting at 9:30AM at work, keeping a 15 min buffer time for any unexpected traffic jams (even if google maps doesn't show), always helps. 

It's not always someone's fault. When we are faced with any of the above situations, a lot of times the first reaction is to assume that it is someone's fault. It's not always the case. There are things which happen because of no one's mistake, but because of a combination of factors. For Example: The guy who nicked my car, may not have done it intentionally (yes it's possible). This also helps us in thinking about how could we have done better; which is always the best way of looking at things. 

Listen. A lot of times, we do not listen to understand, but listen to respond. When we are trying to decode a bad situation, let's stay in business, a common mistake is making assumptions about why it happened or whose fault it is. Listening well to understand the actual course of events is very very important. Listening, though highly under-rated, is an important skill, which helps us in numerous ways. 

Share right feedback, in the right way. Always believe that people will improve, if the right feedback is given, in the right way. If we are able to find out that someone has actually screwed up, please communicate specific feedback on areas where they could have done well. If they need help to improve on those areas, offer to support them. I always follow one simple rule while sharing feedback, appreciate in public and reprimand in private. After all, improvement of people around you helps you avoid this situation again, and hence you win from putting all of this effort.

Be solution focussed, always. This is the last rule, but the most important. Being solution focussed in every situation helps us react in the best way possible, and also helps us resolve issues faster. The solution in some cases could be just getting out of the situation, or in some cases could be a financial settlement with another party, or in some cases a negotiated agreement. Always have the solution in mind, the solution which resolves the situation, in a favourable way for all parties, and pursue this at all times. 

(All the scenarios mentioned above are only fictional. Luckily!)